What precious time --

I do have time these days!, as in my mind feels the tangible ticks & tocks of the ever walking legs inside an inanimate frame. In putting my kid to sleep & between changing diapers, I picked up a book - The Last Mughal - and finished it. Poor books of yesterday that lie in dusty ( allergic ) shelves and look with envy. How dare I abandon them and lay my eyes upon a new one! Sorry folks.

And to accompany me during this reading journey is Coldplay's - Everything's not lost & Deep purple's - Soldier of fortune; both seemed to have a profound dozy effect on the kid as he seems to drift sideways first and with half-droopy eyes succumbs to sleep! What magic :-)

Thoreau again

Dark necessities - Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Chasing Shadows - Angels and Airwaves
Didn't he ramble - Glen Hansard
Tu Kisi Rail Si - Indian Ocean ( from the movie Masaan )

My bouncy, rocky kid keeps me busy. Curious, energetic & 'sneeze-on-your-face' kid. 

We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake us in our soundest sleep. I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.

- Thoreau

Vertigo

How laborious is labor! Its a battle zone. Man must be prepared :-)

Boredom. Foster Wallace talks about how "being unbored is the key to a meaningful life". Just as we find "stuff" to keep ourselves busy, the creeping emotion of boredom keeps haunting us. It attaches to our non-local mind like cholesterol to arteries, if that makes any sense ?

Shun auto-pilot. Work hard. Keep fit.

2015

Hello hypertext. Hello insight. 

Tapped letters to words.

The curtains ridicule me. Subtly moving to let in the orange strokes.

The printed schedule is now drooping

The sax blending with time - drive all night

Lucille did cry for BB King

I slid the volume up

The clouds enclosed in odd shaped parenthesis

The endless river by Pink Floyd

Gilmour on Fender's 50th recalibrated

Ignore what the world says. Really! Progress. Move forward. All the negative attention is a waste of time.

Put on some music, set your priorities, make things lightweight, travel a little and bring closure to all the fancy stuff. Life is fragile! :-) It will annoy you most of the time. We are after all incapacitated to understand everything. Bring peace. Live in peace.

Reach down

Temple of the Dog - Reach down

While our guts lie down in shame, in ways least attributable to self slander, lets chill and reach down.

Hear that riff, a thin soft wave followed by a turbulent distortion going an extra mile just to pacify our gutless mind.

All our voices squabbling over tense over dramatic events that passed through our eyes on an uneventful day. Across the street, a friend he is. Brag now, how eventful this encounter with you is. While my luggage is packed, clothes ironed, false pretensions wrapped under shitty clothes.

Reach down my mind. 

Half Moon Run - Full circle

Song of the open road

You road I enter upon and look around, I believe you are not all that is here,

I believe that much unseen is also here.

Here the profound lesson of reception, nor preference nor denial,

The black with his woolly head, the felon, the diseas’d, the illiterate person, are not denied;

The birth, the hasting after the physician, the beggar’s tramp, the drunkard’s stagger, the laughing party of mechanics,

The escaped youth, the rich person’s carriage, the fop, the eloping couple,

The early market-man, the hearse, the moving of furniture into the town, the return back from the town,

They pass, I also pass, any thing passes, none can be interdicted,

None but are accepted, none but shall be dear to me.

- Song of the Open Road, Walt Whitman

The poem in its entirety is great. As a frame of reference to the many wonders that goes unnoticed. 

Scooch

Dopamine release starts

I had this crazy idea. I then slept! Woke up a while later and went to work.

I stared at this beautiful fountain on the way to work and craved for a pan crusted pizza! Said to myself - This is normal

I shook his hands and pretended to be interesting. He didn't buy it. I retracted. He stepped back. I stared at his bag. He looked at my watch. Staring, looking. God! Please take me out of here.

What a glorious victory! Hard earned. Deserved. At Chinese checkers, for Ganesha's sake! I retorted. 

I eat. I sleep.

Dopamine release drops.

Untitled

It will come back - Hozier

Moments, though fleeting, are more inward that it may seem to be. Through the sharp outline of a silhoutted window against the falling sun on a partly rainy day, my patient mind grew pensive. How my eyes struggled to focus. Sun, rain & a window. None of these called. I attached myself to that fleeting moment which captured the faculty of my mind. This was sometime ago which may have been insignificant else my cautious brain would have remembered the date. It was the over zealous traffic. Nothing special about it. The traffic does what it is bound to. Carry people around.

Chopin & Jarrett

Chopin - Nocturnes - All of them

Keith Jarrett - The Koln Concert - Replayed hard. Felt the magic. For a hundred more times, this stays in my mind forever. Expressing this feeling in my ears is so damn hard! It makes it sound even more beautiful.

A new function arrests you. In a state we are thrown into; yet unnamed. Strange feelings invade. The conquest of new sounds. Never heard before. I somehow had to stumble upon this. All these moments, the dry hot air outside seemed fine. Tolerable. 

The Thrill is Gone

"When I do eventually drop, I pray to God that it'll happen in one of three ways. Firstly, on stage or leaving the stage, then secondly in my sleep. And the third way? You'll have to figure that out for yourself...!" 

B B King

For all the great live shows. You are a legend. RIP.

Untitled

Coldplay - Gravity

Papon - Khumaar

If you get that noise. Come and tell me.

All problems are recurring in nature. If no, come tell me

A black board waiting. An yellow chalk waiting. Both at the same time. One with a known knowledge and other just waiting. To be written on beautifully and gets angry if it looks like a blood spatter. No random art. Genuine writings of a noble mind. For the audience who sometimes get glued to this genuine art of letters or numbers. Sometimes a picture. Sometimes, just empty space to depict a phenomenon.

I'm still here

Black Lab - This Night

We squall in moments of uncertainty. Parading in the open grounds with heads tied up like a knot. The mean desires of human flesh that transform into loud yells of selfish rust. Twisting and turning and speeding. No direction. Just given enough acceleration heading nowhere. We never head anywhere. We stay right here. All that gets displaced is just our shallow feeling. A feeling that does not persist, and just about gives way to a narrow lane of mindless functions. We live in this narrow lane. So narrow that we push each other. It is congested. And we do this to reach the other side which has nothing to exhibit. 

For a moment yesterday, the dark clouds held promises. Parched dogs begging to get a sip of rain. Traffic never mutes. 

We make peace with "whatever". 

And I picture a sober awakening, a re-entry into this little bar scene

Sip my drink till the ice hits my lips

Order another round

And that's it for now

Eddie vedder - I'm still here

Untitled

We swing everyday. From one absurd arc, hitting a low of boredom to the fine end of the day. Lets have a bit of cool. Normal balance.

Hands of time - Groove Armada

Take Five

Dave Brubeck - Take five

We look for that one song that will get you hooked to the genre. Take five it is. And now, my playlist is buzzing with cool compositions. More to come. More joy to my ears.

And its broken
3 days. Laced up. Fine conscience
All along, the chill air tuned itself
Crossed the first pole, didn't stop
I should maybe. Not stressing much. But I kept running
Drifting now and then to meet my future self
Turning back and looked at the steps left behind
The ache must go away
Fill it with fine conscience
No missteps
What lies ahead doesn't matter.
Now, I am running.
Music is good.
The weather is friendly.
Couldn't have asked for a better day!

Rhythm and Repose

The Cost
High Hope
           Glen Hansard - a true artist.

Rage now
Yearn
on the road without a burn
so many trees ahead
walk for the sunlit holes

Everything

Push the sky away - Nick cave and the Bad seeds

What do we know about "Everything"?

I flew over a mountain decorated with patches of green for its inhabitants. They spend their entire lives hopping through sharp and moist rocks to graze and relax just as we work and worry our ways through overcrowded and polluted cities. There is no sense of time. Our crazy instincts to be where we want to be and do nothing and justify it as an act of worthy work. 

It is so simple for me to sit in a cubicle and bark. About everything. Spew philosophy, purpose, attention to conscience, politics. When all I do is wait for my next paycheck to pay the bills and occasionally boast my excess. Never caring about this world and moving on to garner more excess. Vow. Such a dick life can be. Pretentious living. How did all this happen? At what turn, did I see a tree bearing fruits and began that elusive chase to basket a few, and not bothering if few fell down as I can always go further and many such turns await for my saddened feet to trod and leave prints of utter failure in conscience? All the while feeling excited about this self proclaimed journey of exploring. Empty f'ng vase. 

Those migratory birds have a purpose. A discipline that we can never learn. 

What can we learn then? As a first step, don't become a victim of others judgement and train your mind to judge less. Can we try please!

Calvin & Hobbes creator - Bill watterson graduation speech. Felt good reading this.

http://web.archive.org/web/20060219183419/http://home3.inet.tele.dk/stadil/spe_kc.htm

Evaluate

Blind Melon - Tones of Home

The Stone Roses - I am the Resurrection

Down in the dense trees where sunlight is scarce to a snow leopard hunting in heavy snowfall. "Planet Earth" is a must watch I say. I am a huge fan of David Attenborough. His views on nature and life in general is pure and authentic. ScienceDaily says our planet is home to more than 8 million species and counting. So much to explore and catalog.

If for a brief moment in our daily lives, we stop and attach to the present state of mind and negate all ill flowing thoughts, we may succeed in whatever small or big we set out to do. And yet, our existence is a mirage and our hands never reach out to what it says. As I write, I do feel embarrassed as to how hostile I am to existence. An unjust world will always be unjust. Things will not change.  Our experience softens and our expertise to get things done will sharpen. For it will guarantee my paycheck. 

When did we stop evaluating!! What shape does a crushed orange take? How dust settles into the soles of my shoes. How curtains move when I open the windows. The sound of keystrokes as I write this. 

The devilish screech of dark clouds

Watery leaves humming at night

To my ears which grows out loud

As empty roads curve under dim light

My heart strung out a deep note

To which you sang and it echoed

pleading the drops on the leaves to stay afloat

and blissful streams of water on empty roads flowed

As I continued to write our story

I traveled inside the flame of our night lamp

and pestered it to stay bright and fury

to not stress the eyes of my beloved

Everyday

kill the buzzing sound
fill it with echoes that I wish to return to

How is this maddening rush of the day blunting out the essential breath. We hold nothing. In our self, we are still brewing the buzzing sound. 

Untitled

Bad Company - Burnin sky
Mad Season - Artificial Red
Ocean Colour Scene - The Riverboat Song
Pink Floyd - Have A Cigar
Seven Mary Three - Water's Edge

A song shook my hands. You sit in the verandah. Your legs relaxed. Eyes set at a distant tree with yellow leaves. Mind drifting. A routine seeps inside. Discomfort strays outside in the garden begging to catch up with me. The chill control of the day and arrays of blur. In pretense, I sit still. Not moving. Not talking. The book grew old and how! Left unread, one after another. 

The bell is ringing

David Coverdale - Blindman

Coverdale/Page - the Entire album

Grand Funk Railroad - Inside looking out

Winter has come :-) And with it comes the fact that another cycle of a year will pass by. All events, personal and professional, has to be tagged and looked into. Will there be any sort of retrospection? Or just another year with an empty perspective? No looking back? 

Music will be another year + 1 ago. Will the value of creative content diminish ? Hell not. Hendrix, joplin, floyd, vedder will remain just as fresh as it was when first listened to. 

Looking out there, up there, down into. Everything kept moving. Doing its job just as we go about doing ours. 

A constant fire inside us to tell every distraction - go fuck off.

Touch the clouds. Empty exploration. The universe is after all empty right? Or is it not? Incoming boys! So much will pound us and remind how dusty our thoughts are. Bend people. Bend!! 

PinkFloyd - High hopes. That epic guitar. The essence of bending down to this solo and feeling small. Oh vow. That's my perspective :-) Small is good. Be small and observe. This is the ultimate pursuit of wisdom.