Beyond and across

I have two answers to every question put forth..Yes and No

I have two ways to follow when am alone..
a bright smile for everything
or a dark cry for nothing

I have two words to confess when I am wrong..I'm lucky

When sound is all I hear, I dream
When people are all I see, I smile
When time is all I have, I wait

And when its all over, I pray
For I found my way
For it was done in a day
For its the humming sound I hear
from the distant stars many many light years away

Gripped in this box of fear I answered the call
I had no qualms
With little malice, with little logic
I was right in all sense
I cannot lean against this wall
It is toxic
I answered the call

You hide, you never take shelter under the shadow of god
You break open, you can see your shadow in the dark

I have two words to confess when I am wrong..I'm lucky

I chose not to discover

I am nothing outside
I am everything inside

I chose not to discover
I chose it to be subjective
I chose it to be sublime divinity
I chose it to be soundless

Motionless, I wish
this planet with greater pain than joy

Surreal thoughts in a bubble of togetherness punctured
I cried, I looked back, but found myself staring at ominous silence
I saw people cry, but they never had a chance to look back

I know no religion
I know no traditions
I know no culture
These are but elements breeding on humanity
These are seeds of fundamentalism
These are seeds of uncommunicative, unheard voices

With every tinge of fear this world faces
I pray to God
to instill confidence in me
to plant seeds of faith in me
to shower humanity in me

I live not to die alone
I live to die for someone dying beside me

I walk beside people
I walk under the sky

I chose not to discover
I choose to remain silent

I am nothing outside
I am everything inside

A tale of heart and mind

Of what interest can it be
when I have eyes but cannot see

I want to run like the wind
I may perspire
I may become weak
My sight may converge to the end

Of seas, mountains & flowers
Of eyes, smile & pain
Of love, illness & music
a veritable challenge in hand

People confide
This they live
under the czars
under the blanket of countless stars

Time, a compiler of thoughts
thoughts diffused in serenity
of which birds cannot comprehend
neither we breathing sapiens

Its the shadows that dont cry
Its the shadows that dont bleed

Engulfed in this storm of life
we are conditioned to live
to notice but not observe
to show mercy but not help
to mock at but not step up

Mundane lives, talking cliches

We are guardians of future
future taking birth every second
and becoming extinct the very next second

All we hear
beeps that transcends continents
continents made of swords
continents chaining love
and term it a pity slave

God, a great tester
we make a mockery of him
he gives time

we are good, he says
we are bad, we say

Of what interest can it be
when I have eyes but cannot see

Drenched in the duality of life....

Back when I was a tiny tot uttering strange words and trying to join pieces of pictures to figure out what was going around me till now when I am still trying to join those missed out pieces, I listened and have been listening to it all. Discerned in totality, never did I speak up. Its like I have been typing down words, erasing it and again typing it. Interlocked mind never even bothering what I scribbled down before. Erased and its gone. There is no balm to alleviate this. But this irrevocable nostalgic feeling smeared all over me still persists. My mind is deluged with this feeling. Things that were strange are now musical to me. Things that were musical are now strange to me.

Soft and sharp, they never fade away. Every moment being crystalised in my mind.

I always believed and I still believe truth always juts out as and when we grow older. It sings along with us. It propagates with life. It commands attention. It sits beside you but looks beyond future. It inhales the aura we emanate and exhales truth. Phase by phase. Step by step. Note by note. Never leaps..takes small paces but is swift and agile.

From Einstein who believed in miracles to J Krishnamurthy who was a firm believer in simple pleasures of life, truth spoke. A revelation never understood by me. The truth which always freezed me under the sun. Bite your nails, gnash your teeth, lift a trophy, ignore the ignorant, hold a pen, listen to music, buy a pair of trousers...truth always speaks..

You start thinking about the metaphysical parts of life. Curiosity..curiosity..Its truth again. What is in there and what is out here is one and the same. Reflection of perfection. Everything in life is mirrored. Principle of duality always wins. North and South..there is no difference..Civilizations bred..thoughts spread..it sprawled to a certain distance and then there is South. Civilization and thoughts..Its truth again. Never asks but always gives. Never shouts but always meditates upon we miser beings. We are always good but its the truth which is speaking. We really are misers shouting.

'It' says it best when 'it' says nothing at all...

'We' say it best when 'we' say nothing at all...Duality of life..we deal and truth deals..Its always duality.

Chase-tised and Kiln-ed...

How complex can things get?...

I mean..I can sit back at ease and always be a candy-go-guy with none threatening to bring down the multi-storeyed dreams I keep building. I can always don a charming hat and go merry-merry everywhere smoking Italian cigars. I can always laugh at the way the system is going on in our country. I can make a polemic remark against the system and be highlighted in the newspapers..Now...I wont die of illness or any accident. Instead, I will rise to fame in a few months and then be shot or slained at my place. Huh..Chastised and killed. A plain simple story.

My big bro says 'Only when you see such things happening, will you start to carve out the essentials for living life in a better way..'

He always says 'better way'..because he always believes you can never live the 'best way'..

He says 'Think of things which you dont wanna do'..
I say 'Why do you always get to that point..and its strange'

He says 'Strange words directs you so that you can steer your vehicle of life towards the right destination'

Can I relate this to whats happening right now..Its raining out here..Every drop descending down doesnt even know that I am sittin here and watching him. I tend to relate every thing to a person. It always gives me the feel that I am not alone who is facing all what is happening around me.

When you dream, you never know what is going around you. Every breath counts. Moments trigger moments. Big things become miniscule. Slow objects go at mach speeds. Assumptions are made. Decisions turn to rage. There is laughter and yelling talking at the same time.The sun never stops glowing. Hunger is reigning. Reasons become money and time becomes greed. Acts of felony goes unnoticed.

But everything is straight..There is gravity. Shadows remain shadows. Electrons are running through the wires. No issues..No actions..Its all strange..But strange things always guides you..Its all relative..

I soon realised 'better way' is always best than 'the best way'..because there is the word 'best' in between which till take care of the rest..

Every time..

My big bro, the timely 'time', always said 'Your worst adversary is always your best company'
How on earth could that be possible..seriously how on "earth"..
He retorts 'Dont you look at me now!!'..
Oh! that was pretty close..and also appealing..appealing only because he is always right..Well he is the only 'person' I ever knew speaking right things at the right time..

Exams are nearing and as always its the season of marriages..season of surprises..As it used to be and will always be, I have to fall in love with books..emotions of faith creep up..very soon I find myself marrying books..i totally see where this relationship is going..it gets cranky..overpriced..priceless!!

And then again..
I finally have to walk down the aisle holding the pen insulating the 'ink of attained knowledge' and let her drain it down articulately on the paper. They become the happiest couple. Nothing beats the pen, paper and their baby ink...My knowledge..their pleasure..But I am ultimately crowned the King of Torts!!

They really expect me to respect..I find myself enmeshed..I untangle myself and try to get out of it..
Oh Oh..My big bro swoops in..
'Dude..whats the matter with you..every moment of your life is beautiful..dont ruin it'
Ohhh..cliches dont work for me..they really dont..
I shoot back 'ohh..'I am just a kid..I dont understand what you say'
'Ohkk..you run a mile..a gift awaits..you run an extra mile..another gift awaits..this is how it works..'
'All you got to do is to run along that "running mile"'..

This is wonderful..Honestly..time and tide waits for everyone..tireless stalkers of noble knowledge..nothing beats them too..turning mud to gold..believable..but the transition from knowledge to wisdom is tricky and adventurous

I dont grasp in all of it..but surely think of grasping it..
silence please..
craa..craaaaaaaaaaaack..crrrr..trrrrr..dim___'May I come in?'
"Sure"
"Thanks..How many miles do I have to run to grab all the gifts?"
My big bro says.."Until you realise you have taken the road less travelled by.."
Wings of mind..Ventures of mind..

Strange but true..

There I am, standing and breathing. Everything around me is calm composed. Everything beyond me unknown.

Nothing is as fascinating as this. One look at the infinite space above..Clouds, stars and the moon. I take a few paces towards my right. One look at the infinite space above..I still see the clouds, stars and the moon.

This only reminds me of other people who are also residing under this blanket of countless stars. People who dont know if democray or dictatorship is ruling their country. People who just migrate from one place to another to escape the wars.

I always try to scale the depth of silence when in sleep.Everything just shuts down. Everything just diminishes into one single dark spot. There is nothing to illuminate this dark spot. You are just dropped there spiralling away into the cone of darkness. Down here, I feel nothing but gravity. I see nothing but rains filling the seas. I hear nothing but the wind talking to the trees. Sound of silence. Not practical. Not strange. But beautiful.

What I really saw was this. I saw a pastor sprinkling holy water on the divine-seekers. I saw a child weeping helplessly on the street. I saw fishermen risking their lives at the seas just to live. The world is infinite to a bum on the street. He doesn't curse the fat-cats, instead pities on them for not having realised that world is infact finite to them. I saw an exhausted Arab speaking to his camel. He says "If there is one place no one knows you, its the desert".

The moment I wake up, everything around me is still the same. And everything beyond me is still unknown. Nothing has changed. Just washed away filth of my dress. And there I am, standing and breathing. All I realize is that Dreams are dreamt. They are like candles which gives out light, but also melts down. Melts only to be lit again...
Strange but true..

I still remain a slave

Its been a long time since I penned down something. Days are going by. My big brother, the timely 'time' has been keeping an eye on me all the time. All he does is keep running after 'nothing'. And all I hear from him is the low tone ticks, ticks n ticks...and constant alarms peircing straight through my head beckoning me to come and have a look at its charming legs walking royally oblivious to the happenings in the world. Everybody tries to be in harmony with him, follow him like a tireless stalker. The fact that the rotation and revolution of Earth around the Sun is coherent with time and space remains the same. We obey him. Calendar gets flipped over regularly. The pages of books are turning yellow. My feet doing a lot of walking, trampling down tiny ants..Untouched..Unnoticed..Things are done hastily..Connected to the mechanical world like a baby connected to a mother through the umbilical cord.

In a moment, seconds of evanescent incidents are stamped as history. Many unnoticed. Untouched. They are saying something. I reckon they are yelling out saying 'Ohh..dont do that'. But in another unnoticed, untouched second they are again yelling out at me saying 'Ohhkk..carry on..but this is your last time..'The 'they' am talking about are my senses. They are waffling about the whims and caprices and enticing me. I as an able-bodied-slave ought to fulfill him. I suddenly hear my big brother, the timely 'time', mocking at me and saying

'You are a mad man..'

I say 'No I'm not!'

He says 'Tell me one good earthly-human reason'

I'm pondering over it...Still pondering..No..I dont get a earthly-human reason to convince him.

He says 'You are a slave to your senses. They are making you do all they want'
Meditating upon it, I come to know that every quality of mine and every action of mine is a result of me being a subordinate to my king. My senses. I'm a victim of its politics. An intricate politics. I'm just an owner of my 'chassis', the physical body.

He says 'Why dont you fight them'. It sounded really interesting.."Fight them". So yet another venture..

"Trying to keep my senses under control..Trying being a master, king of my own senses".

Before I get tooo philosophical I better descend down to earth. My wings are tired.

P.S Tried to bring a convoluted insight into the politics of mind..